MEMBER STORY - Ritchie

I’m not much of a runner these days, 55 and when I came wholeheartedly into recovery, I was about 50.

I couldn’t tell you how many times I walked the winding driveway at Windana Maryknoll over the first 12 months. My legs moved fast, and I did many miles, my head also keeping pace as I began to leave the seeds and traumas of my addictions behind. It is a mindful practice, a meditation, that I still gage my state of mind and anxiety by. The faster I walked, the more distressed I was.

Especially in the earlier days of my recovery. Getting 4 hours sleep at the most, those hours infested with night terrors so vivid, broken, traumatic and triggering. I’d hit the pavement (gravel) early and prepare my rehab days by letting go of the very average night’s rest. My input at these times (and still today) soo important. I went from hard rock in the earphones to gentle R & B with Buddhist chants thrown in to help bring calm to my over functioning mind, (echoes of

amphetamine addiction) very gradually becoming less harsh and gentler. Though still I was alone. The echoes (5 years later) are faint, rare, distant and manageable.

I learnt that I was isolating whilst walking through pushing myself to connect with others that also liked a good walk. In integration I began to embrace connection and the biproduct of this was that I could share what was going on in my head and listen to the reflections and shared lived experiences of my friends in recovery, normalizing then minimizing the impact of my thoughts. These connections continue saving me from the cycle of relapse again and again. Strengthening my recovery like never before.

As my mind has slowed down over the last few years, so has my pace. (maybe something to do with my age too) I continue to walk on my days off, if not with a friend, with my dog. Never alone.

Today’s Sunday, a workday for me and I miss going to the Run Into Recovery group with Benn and the many new and old connections there. Last fortnight I continued my walking goal of every beach around the bay, travelling down the same stretch this wonderful

group connects on every Sunday morning. I miss you all and when the holidays come around, I’ll see you all again.

Keep on walking (Ritchie Bloom) not the other guy.